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<h1 style="text-align: center;">The Thirst Is Real</h1> <img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/505673826/photo/affectionate-couple-during-romantic-foreplay.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=hAbTD9pwTXnT-IfkGSOGqoLvZ5zoXUg2aeDLIMNZS7c=" alt="" width="800" /> "The thirst always wins." -Deacon Frost, "Blade" The recent court ruling earlier this week in the horrifically violent "gangrape on a bus" case that took place late last year, judging all the Men accused as guilty on all charges and now facing the very possibility of being put to death, has yet again raised a whole host of very uncomfortable questions that contemporary Indian society has yet to even begin to honestly address. While concerns over the treatment of Women and the like are indeed important, what's being lost in the sauce is the very real <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2022/06/20/moving-from-hookup-to-girlfriend/">sexual needs of men</a> and how not acknowledging this, and meaningfully addressing it, continues to take a real toll on Indian society for everyone. Of course, many will rightly note, a big part of the problem lies in India's longheld cultural views that boys are more important than girls, with the latter being selected aborted at incredibly high numbers, resulting in a dearth of females later on down the line, and thereby relegating potentially millions of Indian Men to lifelong bachelorhood. Again, granted -- you'll get no argument from me that these cultural and social practices and views, aided and assisted by modern medical techonology, hasn't exacerbated things considerably on the Indian sociosexual front. Fair enough. <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/indian-men-sex-survey-article-1.1445599">But a survey conducted by the widely regarded magazine Men's Health</a> points to the fact that there are a few other moving parts in India's sociosexual problems: per the survey, roughly half of Indian Men felt most likely that their Women were "faking it", had sex only once a week on average, and had only three lifetime partners on average as well (compare that to British Women, with a lifetime average of nine sexual partners). Many reading the above can and will most likely quibble with Men's Health survey findings, design, etc, et al, as well with varying aspects of contemporary Indian society along these lines, and no doubt they should; debate is always a good thing. 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The dearth of desirable mates is something we should worry about, for it lies behind much human treachery and brutality." Buss continues: "Despite the fact that many equate evolution with survival selection, survival is only important inasmuch as it contributes to successful mating. Differential reproductive success, not differential survival success, is the engine of evolution by selection. You can survive to old age. But if you fail to mate, you fail to reproduce, and your genes bite the evolutionary dust. We are all descendants of a ruthless selective process of competition for the most valuable mates---those who can give our children good genes and an array of resources ranging from food and shelter to the social skills needed to scramble up the status hierarchy... Despite valiant efforts, men's attempts to increase their market value in women's eyes do not always work. Many fail. <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2025/09/17/first-date-anxiety-ways-to-reduce-the-stress-of-meeting-someone-new/">Dating anxiety can paralyze men</a> brave in other contexts. Some spurned men become bitter and hostile toward women after repeated rejections. As Jim Morrison of 'The Doors' once noted, "women seem wicked when you're unwanted." Reading Buss' Edge entry in full is in my view not just highly recommended, it is essential for understanding the age in which we live and the full implications of what his "talk" points to, and is seen on vivid and at times, brutally unfortunate display in contemporary Indian life. Simply put, The Thirst, is very, very Real. <h2>Understanding The Concept Of Thirst</h2> That term or phrase, "<a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=thirst">thirsty</a>" or "so and so person/group is always thirsty" is one that got its beginnings in the urban centers of America, a euphemism for saying Black and to a lesser extent, certain Brown folks (Puerto Ricans, for example) -- and it recognizes the fact that Men in particular, seek sexual access to a very high degree. Indeed, the supply of available sex outstrips the demand in many instances -- leaving India aside for the moment and turning our attention to Facebook and other examples of social media over roughly the past decade (like MySpace), one can and will easily find numerous instances of Women who are able to field the attentions and interests of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of Men vying for theirs. One of the discussion groups I belong to on Facebook is one that was created for and caters to Black Men, and the "discussions" obtaining there consist largely of its forum members posting and ogling pics of Women -- easily dozens a day, and hundreds a week(!). Admittedly, many of the aforementioned images are of highly attractive, desirable Women in the Black Male cultural context -- but many of that same forum's participants can be heard derogating other Black Men in other venues for giving attention to Women they deem to be less attractive, and invariably the term "thirsty" can be heard. And indeed, the observations of these Black Men along these lines, would be valid. We have all known of Men who have "slummed it" with a lesser attractive Woman or any number of them, and while the social costs for doing so may be relatively high, it is worth mentioning that for every spinster history has recorded throughout the world, there have been twice as many bachelors. Such is the economics of the sexual marketplace, where females of just about every mammalian and other species is the more reproductively "valuable" one. Australia, one of the most distant and far away lands on the planet, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evonne_Goolagong_Cawley">has many well known instances of White Men mating with the native Aboriginal Women, most of whom are not considered by many to be "conventionally attractive"</a>. Yet another example of the male psychological ability to lower their mating standards considerably, when the need calls for it. And for good reason, something I've long observed and written about -- Most Men don't get laid. <h2>Deconstructing The Problem</h2> Now, the above phrase merits a bit of deconstruction and explaination: by "getting laid", I mean several things: 1. Most Men aren't having sex at all at any given time 2. Most Men aren't having the kinds of sex they'd like to have These two factors explains what we're seeing in modern day India, and here in the States on Black Facebook. Simply put, and again due to the economic realities of the sexual marketplace, more Men than Women are willing to significantly <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/10/26/why-you-should-never-settle-for-minimum-standards/">lower their mating standards</a> (<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/07/fashion/07STUDIED.html?_r=1&ref=fashion">Men have a documented "heightening" of mating standards when it comes to marriage or failing that, LTRs</a>; what is referred to in the 'hood as "<a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wife">wifing it up</a>") because sex is much harder to obtain for Men than it is for Women, all things being equal. Sure, quality of sex, and other attendant concerns on the part of Women -- like unintended pregnancy, rape and the like, even in a time when both have been significantly mitigated against due to a plethora of interventions, are legitimate debating points -- nevertheless, the point being made here, cannot be overstated. Men, all things being equal, have a harder time getting a Woman to say "Yes!", than the other way around. There is simply no getting around this fact. And, when taking this fact into account, "lesser quality sex" is infinitely preferable to the vast majority of Men, than "no sex at all". We have far and away too many examples, however anecdotal they may be the world over, that bears this fact out. <h2>Moving Beyond Denial</h2> The "conversation", such as it has been historically conducted, around Sexual Politics issues in the West, has largely been one of "what's best for the ladies?" -- indeed, that's what the Sexual Revolution of the 60s and 70s really was all about, and as I've noted before, I think that's a good thing. But it's not the whole picture. Whether we like it or not, at some point we will have to give at least some thought, consideration and yes, empathy, for the male side of the equation as well. The events that took place in India, as horrific as they may truly be, only scratches the surface of a much deeper set of problems that Humanity has yet to grapple with in our more supposedly enlightened age -- one that we are now only dimly even aware of. As Prof. Buss rightly points out in the talk referenced above, there are no fast and easy answers to this very real problem so many Men face in these times; but one thing is certain: our refusal to take Male Sexuality and its connections to mental, psychological, emotional and even physical health impacts on Men, seriously, is something I fear we are likely to pay a heavy price for in the longrun -- as we have seen in that horrific case in India late last year. <div id="gtx-trans" style="position: absolute; left: 333px; top: 859px;"> </div>